the OBJECTIVE JERK

MY TAKE ON THE NEW HE-MAN TRAILER: Why I am actually optimistic.

• Jerk • Season 4 • Episode 213

Share episode

Send us a text

We trace the messy road to a new He-Man movie, from childhood nostalgia and the 1987 misfire to the Netflix pivots and a trailer that looks big, bright, and risky. Hopes are high for a real hero’s journey; fears focus on snark, sameness, and sidelining the lead.

• Childhood He-Man fandom and toy-era memories
• Lessons from the 1987 film adaptation
• Frustrations with Netflix’s Teela-focused pivot
• What the trailer gets right visually
• Concerns about Thor-style tone and humor
• The importance of Adam’s alpha hero arc
• Casting reactions across heroes and villains
• Why Skeletor’s presence must carry menace
• A plea for Eternia to have its own identity
• What would make the story land with fans

Are you a He-Man fan? Are you excited? Do you care? Let me know


Support the show

Again, thanks for hanging out with me!

Please feel free to comment or send an email to theobjectivejerk@gmail.com

SPEAKER_01:

You are listening to the objective jerk, you know. Said jerk. How's it hangin'? I'm gonna bring it back. What's going on? How's it hangin'? What do you know, good? What else? There's lots of little sayings. Anyway, yeah, what's up? So I wanted to talk about He-Man. But before I do, I'm gonna talk about what's going on. Oh, yeah, those dipshits that went into the church, some are getting arrested. The people who who like planned it. Don Lemmon, the Minnesota, whatever, decided not to charge, but that doesn't mean. And you know, I mean, honestly, he wasn't he was kind of involved. He wasn't just happened to be there and report on it like he tries to make it out to be. He is kind of complicit a little bit. I'm not saying he needs to go to jail. I mean, that'd be awesome, but at the very least, he should just get charged and fined or something. You know what I mean? Something. Just so it's like, because he's just such a retarded douche. And my of course, my one liberal friend on Facebook likes him and thinks he's he's great. It's like, yeah, you would. He's a fucking idiot. Not my friend, although I'm starting to think he is, but Don Lemon for sure. Jesus. Anyway, I want to talk about He-Man because man, it is all over the place. And I did watch the trailer. But this episode is dedicated to He-Man. I think I've talked about it before briefly. Or I talked about the the animated show that was on Netflix, I think a little bit. So I might be regurgitating some stuff, but such is life. So I talk about all the time how I'm not a fanboy about anything. You know, I'm very I like, you know, a little bit of everything. I'm I'm not like a hardcore. But if I was to if I am the the IP or whatever that I'm most fanboy over is He-Man. Like that's, you know, big part of my childhood. I had all the all the toys, loved watching the cartoon. I had, you know, pictures and puzzles, and just I loved everything He-Man. Although I did I did kind of start to so kindergarten, so five, six, seven, eight. Yeah, probably about like nine years old is when I started kinda not being into it too much. Like I don't remember having He-Man stuff. I think the cartoon stopped, and it was just one of those things, you know. But then the uh the movie, the one with Dolph Lundgren came out, and man, it was just horrible. I mean, I still liked it as a kid, but you know, I even then I was just like, man, where's Orco? Where's you know, it doesn't even look, it doesn't blah blah blah blah. I mean, there were some cool things, but they just didn't have any of the characters, and it was just it was not that great. Dolph Lundgren, I think he was he was pretty good. He's he wasn't the greatest actor then. He got better, but you know, he he was a man, right? And then I remember when the Masters of the Universe, Revelation, or whatever, I get them mixed up, the ones, but I think the first one was Revelation was coming out. I was kind of excited, but then you know, the sort of information started coming out that it was like a bait and switch and it was gonna follow Tila and all this kind of stuff, and it was like, What? And then it came to be true, and so I was like, What? But then I still watched it anyway, though, you know. But I I didn't watch the whole it was in two parts. I think I watched the first part, or what they call the first season of Revelation, I think it was in two parts or something, and then I watched I started watching the second part, but I didn't, I couldn't finish it. I was just like, it was just too annoying. I thought maybe like, okay, maybe they'd start, you know, focusing on. I don't know, it was just yeah, they say they sidelined He-Man, you know, and it was just like, well, it's it's masters of the universe. I was curious like, what what what what what was it? It was He-Man and the Masters of the Universe. It's like if you want to, yeah, there's lots of other characters, but like if you're gonna bring back and do whatever, focus on He-Man first, and then once you know, then it's like you start bringing other characters, but they just it was all the bait and switch thing. And so yeah, I didn't finish watching it, I was you know, and that was kind of I think the beginning of the end for me as far as just not trusting anything, entertainment, and just you know, and then you know, the other ones all came out. I never watched it, and then but the recently, or within the last six months, I want to say, or something, I watched Revolution or no, I don't think it's Revolution. I know I but the the last one, the second, the second season, or that one was pretty good because I actually showed He-Man. So that one was kind of, you know, that was that wasn't bad. You know, the animation was good, and but it was just a creative decision to not focus on He-Man. It's like why not just do because nobody watches the cartoon, nobody has seen anything. It didn't really why not do a you know, a what is it called when they do the background history hero's journey, but the I can't think of the word right now, you know, they just I don't know, they just they don't know how to do it. And it looks like this film is in a better direction, but we'll talk about it. But anyway. So when I heard that they're making a He-Man film, I was like, and nobody calls it Masters of the Universe, they call it He-Man. See, I'm looking at a little poster, witness how he became He-Man. Yeah, see, that's a little, you know. But I mean, it's not like we have a bunch of, you know, Batman or origins, that's what I was trying to think of earlier. You know, Batman movies have been around, so it's like, okay, yeah, let's try and do it different. But it's like, dude, we haven't really had a He-Man movie. That one was what 40 years ago? Not quite 40, but you know, it's like, dude. So it's just kind of some of the the coping just because people don't like it, and they're like, well, it's just it's just it's just bullshit fake. They don't know what they're talking about. And it kind of this kind of bugs me more because it is, and that's how you know some things happen with other stuff, and I'm like, well, you know, what are you gonna do? But this one kind of is a little more annoying. I do hope it's good, and I hope it does well. Although I think it's on Amazon or something. Yeah. Which hopefully it gets in the theaters for a little bit and can make some decent money, you know, to show if it's good. But but yeah, I'm uh, you know, I got some He-Man figures. I mean, I'm I don't have everything. I mean, there's some people that are like crackheads with it, you know. I never got the Gray Skull thing. There's, you know, I'm not like, see, that's what I'm saying. I'm not like a full, I mean, a fanboy to me is somebody that just they have like five shirts of He-Man, and then their room is just filled with different net figures of different, you know, just everything. And it's like I'm not like that, because like I said, I'm not really a fanboy of anything, but that's about as close as I'm gonna get, or as close as any kind of IP for me is He-Man. Like it just holds a special place in my heart, you know what I mean? Because I just I remember watching that cartoon, and at the end of the show, when it was playing the theme music, I'd be sitting there jumping around and fighting my pillows and pretending to be He-Man and all that, you know what I mean? Like, I've I loved He-Man, couldn't wait to get so excited, and I knew when it was on, and you know what I mean. And if you watch it now, holy crap, it's corny as hell. It don't look bad, but it's it's it's alright. I don't know. But it's still kind of fun to watch. I'll watch stuff on YouTube sometimes. I don't think I could buy it though, because it'd be like, yeah, I don't know. But anyway, so you know, I loved He-Man. He-Man was huge for me. So before I talk about the trailer, though, I'm gonna read a little bit about the production, I guess, and just what's going on. So let's see. Again, Masters of the Universe. Why can't they call it He-Man? Because oh, it's misogynistic and we don't want to mansplain and all that kind of crap. Well, I can call it He-Man, dude. And see, that's what has me a little worried, but I'll again I'll talk about it here in a second. Anyway, Masters of the Universe. I haven't read this yet before. I mean, I've so I've read or I watched the trailer, you know, I used to kind of wait, but it's like I'm not a trailer reaction person, it's not the thing I do, plus it doesn't really work with the podcast, so I'm not, you know, just talk about it. But anyway, but I haven't read anything really about this yet. I did know, you know, people that were cast and stuff like that, but that was about it. Anyway, uh Master of the Universe is an upcoming American sword and sorcery film based on Mattel's media franchise, which the cartoon and everything was made just to sell toys, which I didn't know that. I mean, a lot of stuff was back then, but the film is being directed by Travis Knight. And he's the son of a Nike. What is he done? Stop motion. Oh man, doesn't look like he's really directed much, and written by Chris Butler. It's not bringing an English animator and writer. Paranorman, didn't see it.

SPEAKER_00:

Adam and Aaron and Adam knee Band of Roberts Lost City.

SPEAKER_01:

A lot of writers, man. I hate when they got like f seven writers. That makes me a little worried. This guy's got a little bit of a Dave Callahan. Oh, this is oh no, this is the guy that's playing He-Man. Okay. Nicholas Galinsing. I don't know. This is the first thing I think. Stars as Prince as He-Man, who returns to his home, planet Eternia to save from the evil forces of Skeletor, played by Jared Leto, Camilla Mande Mendez, Allison Bree, James Purefoy, Morena Bacharin. Can never say her name. Charlotte Riley and Idris Elba also stars. Master of the Universe is scheduled to be released in the United States and Canada on June 5th by NGM Studios and internationally by Sony Pictures releasing entertainment. The Premise.

SPEAKER_00:

So you know, it's it's the origin, which is cool. You know, I I I like that.

SPEAKER_01:

I'll read a little bit of production. New He-Man film directed by John Woo. Oh, that would have been crazy. Oh, back in 2007. But despite rumors circulating on the internet regarding all that stuff, it never was greenlit. Film Rice and He-Man have reportedly since reverted to Mattel. September of 09, Sony something, blah blah blah, producer Joel Silver. Something, bunch of names. I'm not gonna people doing stuff and coming up with ideas that didn't happen. And alright, in late 2012, it was reported that John Chuck Crazy Rich Asians, huh? Wasn't toxic. I didn't even know, I didn't even heard of that guy until that film. Anyway, the original He-Man actor Dolph Lunger did an interview with IGN about a possible role as King Randor. That'd be cool. 2012, Richard Wink was hired to rewrite. So they've been trying to work on this for a while. 14. Bunch of other names. People trying to get involved didn't work. Okay, in August of 2015, Christopher Yost had been hired to rewrite the film. He did Thor Dark World, Ragnarok. Well, it looks a lot of Thor looking in the trailer. Did I report that MCG would direct the film? I don't know how I feel about that, possibly. Goyer to work on the film, however, in interviews. Said Sony felt that Goyer's script would be too expensive to bring to life. Well, how could it be any more whatever than what what it came out to be? You know, it looks pretty I mean it's very green screeny, but April 2018 report that Aaron and Adam Nee would direct. Oh, so they originally gonna direct.

SPEAKER_00:

22 is announced Netflix had officially acquired the rights from Sony.

SPEAKER_01:

After doing their other stuff with Kyle Allen as cast as He-Man. Screenplay. Alan had stated that he was working out six days, six hours a day in preparation for the film. In 2023, Netflix cancelled the film. Well, at least he got in shape. After spending 30 million in development, citing budget concerns leading Mattel to search for an Oh, I didn't know. So you know what?

SPEAKER_00:

The what is now the film? I thought Huh.

SPEAKER_01:

I didn't know that that that happened exactly. Anyway, November 23, Amazon was I in, da du. It was announced that Travis Knight. Okay, this guy directed it and talks direct the film with Chris Butler hired to rewrite production.

SPEAKER_00:

Ultimately Butler alongside the writing team. So they're able to get it going. Alright, so that's who that's who made it.

SPEAKER_01:

And then you got this Nicholas Galinsey guy.

SPEAKER_00:

He doesn't look bad.

SPEAKER_01:

And I know, you know, you know, He-Man's power comes from the sword as like a power, it's not just, you know, his his muscles or whatever. But I don't know, it needed to be someone more like the guy that plays Reacher on the show. I mean not him, you know, exact because he's older, but needed to be somebody who was really jacked. Because you see some steals and it's just like, eh, I don't know. It doesn't look bad. You know, the everything else looks great. As far as visually. Well, I'm kind of getting ahead of myself. And then okay, so Kamala. Camellia Mendez is Tila. She's pretty hot. Man at Arms Adoptive Daughter. Yeah, because Man at Arms is black now. Which I love Idris Idris Elba, but it's like. Why why can't they just leave shit alone, man?

SPEAKER_00:

I don't know. It I don't know. I mean, there is there a black character?

SPEAKER_01:

I'm trying to think of the cartoon and stuff. There was a black character, wasn't there? I mean, I get it. You know what I mean? It's you know, back then it was but it's like they always gotta do it to like one of the oh, we gotta we can't do He-Man because then people will be pissed. Let's do Let's do, you know, so they had to pick somebody who and you know, like I said, I think I think uh oh, am I okay, I'm still talking. I think Man at Arms is like my favorite aside from He-Man, Man at Arms was always my favorite. And then my favorite villain was Trapjaw. I mean a skeletor too, obviously, but so I mean in Idris Idris Elba, you know, when they were talking about him being the next James Bond, I was fine with it. Because for that, you know, it could work. And you know, Samuel Jackson, he was Nick Fury, and it worked. So I'm s it's I like Idris Elba. And I think he's probably gonna do an awesome job, really. It's just it's just the it just you know, it's like you this somebody was like, You gotta you gotta put somebody in there that's black or whatever, you know. You have to. So they're like, okay, let's figure out how can we do that. That's what's annoying, is I mean, again, do I know this for 100%? No, but I know it for 99.9%. That this is the you know, they have these box checking crap that they have to do, and they make instead of you know doing it that like, man, you know, it'd be kind of cool if we actually made them black because for the story, and then it would be, you know, like, oh yeah, that would be not just like we gotta put somebody black in it, or we have to put somebody gay or whatever. How can we make that work? That's see, that's that's what's wrong with everything today. Because they they get the whatever DI kind of crap, and then they how can we work it in there instead of You know, you know, would make this story cooler if it was black, or I don't know, and that's kind of the problem. But again, it's probably gonna be fine. You know what I mean? I'm not like butthurt about it or anything. And then Alison Bree, she's really hot. She's psycho, but she's really hot and hurt. I think that's a good casting. Evil Lynn. Jared Leto. It's gonna be hard to see. Seeing him now, looks pretty badass. So again, it's a little early. The one who's playing Tila, I don't know who she is. What's her face? Playing sorceress, that's cool. Yeah, it showed Fisto. Oh, does it have James Pure for King? Man, they should have got Dolph Lunger. Alright. Queen. Sashima. So here's a black chick. Susie. Adams. Oh, friend and co-worker. Okay. Kristen Wigg is the voice of Roboto. Goat Man.

SPEAKER_00:

Who the fuck is Goatman?

SPEAKER_01:

I don't remember Goatman. Ram Man's in it. That's cool. Oh, there is Trapjaw. Trapjaw's in it. Okay, cool. Because I haven't showed him in the in the trailers yet. Anyway, so okay. So on to the trailer, right? So the trailer. First of all, the movie looks like if this I think if this movie would have came out ten years ago, people would be losing their minds. They'd be like, oh my god, this looks awesome, and I can't wait. And duh duh you know, but it looks just like Thor Ragnarok. I can't say it looks like Thor Thor Love and Thunder because I haven't seen it. But the aesthetic, you know, Eternia looks just like, you know, everything else, and or a little bit of Guardians and stuff like that, just has that kind of like they're trying to go for that instead of just trying to do their own thing. So that could hurt it a little bit. And then so the sh the the you know, he's he's in, so as a kid, like I read I read the premise, right? So he's in he's in in in America, and in in in on planet earth, geez. And then you know, shows him like working some desk and it says he him on his nameplate thing, and you know it's like he man. He there it's like a little bit of a play on words, which I you know I kind of get, like that doesn't bother me. I mean it would if it was anybody else, I guess, but but what it looks like to me, the this is what it looks like to me. I'm not first of all, I'm not excited, like it looks kind of cool. I mean, okay, I'm lying. I'm maybe a little bit excited, but not I'm not really I'm not hyped at all. Maybe once another trailer comes out, and then maybe once word of mouth comes out, but although I'll probably watch it before word of mouth, I'll give it a chance because it's just you know, because that's the fanboy in me wants to, you know, watch it, even though it's it's I don't think it's gonna be bad, but I think I think this is what I hope it is, okay? This is what I hope it is. I hope, and this is what it looks like to me, and then this is and then what I hope it is. I hope it is, you know, he's on earth and he's a cuck. He's gonna be talked down to, he's gonna be, you know, I mean, the typical male, you know, whatever, he's gonna be treated and he's gonna be this douchebag, not douchebag, but you know, women are better than him, they gotta tell him what to do. He's a doofus, whatever kind of crap, and he's just goofy and all this kind of retarded shit. And then, but then when he gets to Euturnia and he meets everybody and he has to become He-Man, then I'm hoping like he becomes the alpha male that He-Man is, and is you know, and then that's the whole kind of story. Like, I kind of hope that's the take. That's like his his journey, starting off as like a little beta cuck and then becoming He-Man, you know, an alpha male. I hope they do that. Because if they do, it will be much more successful. Word will get out, more people will watch it, and it'll be popular, and then maybe they'll you know go further. But if they and on Earth, fine, whatever. They want to do he him, and he's like a whatever, okay, that's fine. But once he becomes he-man, and he's on, you know, Eternia, and I'm sure there's gonna be a little bit of Tila, like, oh my gosh, you know, maybe hopefully poking fun at his beta male kind of attitude because he's been on Earth. But hopefully by the end of the movie, he is the alpha male, and there's not too much, and he doesn't have to be saved by Tila or you know, no stupid shit like that. As long as they do that, it will be fine. But I'm kind of thinking it's gonna be uh it's gonna be like Thor, the the last one, which I haven't seen, the the Love and Thunder. He's gonna be a bumbling idiot and just kind of the the butt of every joke, and yeah, he's gonna be strong and this and that, but he's not gonna know how to do everything, and he's just kind of there for the r along for the ride kind of thing. That's what I think is gonna end up happening. I hope not. I really hope not. And if they were smart, that's what they would have not done. But I mean, it's made now, so it's like, you know, only time will tell. When does this come out again? Oh, June. Oh, we still got a ways away. Okay. But hopefully that's what they do. Because looks-wise, I mean, it does look like you know, Thor, or it looks like, you know, Guardians of the Galaxy, and then people like, well, it takes place in whatever. How else is it supposed to look? It's like, dude, you can make things look differently, but yeah, again, it's because it's all you know green screen, so it's kind of hard to I don't know. So we'll see. It honestly looks better than I was thinking it would. Skeletor looks badass, although it doesn't he doesn't talk or doesn't do anything yet. Everybody character-wise looks pretty awesome. The only one that doesn't look 100% awesome is Man at Arms, just because they had to do, you know, race swab. But it doesn't look bad, you know what I mean? And I'm sure, like I said, I think Idris, Idris, however you say his name, he's probably gonna kill it, because he is a he is an awesome actor. So, you know, hopefully fingers crossed. Man, I keep like, what is it with lately? I'm like trying to talk and burp and breathe at the same time.

SPEAKER_00:

But that's just kind of my take on it right now.

SPEAKER_01:

Like I said, I hope I mean they're doing the cuck beta male thing. That's without a doubt, at least on Earth. You know what I mean? So as long as, you know, he becomes the alpha male that He-Man is, I'll be fine with that. I'll be happy with it. And that, you know, that's a that's a that's an art, character arc, hero's journey, whatever, you know. And it maybe they would, you know, they may actually make fun of, you know, like, yeah, because he grew up here in a in the in the world, and with all the stupid crap, he's a stupid beta, but he's actually, you know, the biggest alpha male in the world. So as long as they do it right, they don't need to attack, you know, DEI and all that kind of stuff. But they just, you know, if they can not fall into that and then maybe even poke fun at it a little bit, which I'm kind of thinking they do, because the name thing, you know, he-man, he, her, or he, him, or whatever it is. So I think some people are like, oh my god, he him, blah, blah, blah. It's like, yeah. If his name wasn't He-Man, then I'd be like, oh my gosh, that's kind of stupid. But like, I kind of get it because he's He-Man. It's a play on words, kind of. But like I said, only though, because he's I know it. I know he's a cuck beta at the beginning. I know it. But as long as he that progression and he becomes, you know, the badass He-Man that he was in the cartoons and everything, I think it'll be it'll be good, you know. So now the only thing. Yeah, so the the things that hurt it the worst from the trailer is just the main actor, he's just not as big. He looks pretty good, though. I'm not gonna complain. Yeah, Dolph Lundgren was you know a big dude, but you know, he didn't look like He-Man. So at least this guy looks like He-Man. You know, he's just not as big. Maybe, you know, hopefully this will be successful, and then like a sequel, and then like as he continues to use his power, he gets bigger. Maybe that's kind of what they're going for, hoping for. You know, he'll continue working out and be, and then then the next one, just like you know, Hugh Jackman wasn't very ripped at all in the first, you know, X-Men movie. So here's hoping. I think it has promise. I think as of right now, it's looking more better than not. But it's still too early to tell. We still need we need a longer trailer. We need to see Skeletor talking and doing some stuff, seeing how they do that, and a little bit more of the story, and hopefully, hopefully the first full-on trailer will kind of support what what I'm talking about as far as his story arc, his character arc, or whatever. But anyway, that's it. You a He Man fan? Let me know. Are you excited? Do you care? I don't know, let me know. Appreciate you hanging out, hearing my opinion, and I'll see you guys next time. Alright, God bless. Alright, bye.

Head Shot

Jerk

Host